Balls to lot lot of them.........men that is.......secretly i don't mean that but jesus, they say things without thinking first and then wonder why you start sobbing.
Lee took the girls last night and we had a little text at about ten, its usual, just 'hey are those babies ok', anyway its was all ok until quite out of the blue he says 'i know you're lonely'.........great!
Nothing like your ex (who i dumped btw) telling you he can see your lonely, its ok for him, we get married, move to HIS village, he still see's all of HIS mates while i have spent the last four years cooking , cleaning and mothering.
Of course its not his fault but yes i know i'm lonely so why does he have to rub it in.
So today i got up, washed, got dressed and thought about going to the shops........and thought..........and then there was a knock at the door, every time the door goes or the phone for that matter, i think tom has come to his senses, he wants me!. It wasn't tom (of course), it was my friend the news reader, well i say friend but really all he wants to do is get in my knickers but because he is married and i don't fancy him very much i manage to resist.
Anyway he said he knew i was down (they are all at it) and what did i have to do today?
We went to the shops, i don't think he liked it much but it got me out of the house and my jogging bottoms and i think i actually made a couple of jokes.
Later back at home he tried it on again.......and what really did he expect? My marriage is down the shitter and i have just met and lost the love of my love but yeah ok, fuck me coz that will take it all away????

Tonight though, like all nights, its all about tom.
I want to write it all down but i think if i do its there and i can't take it back, let alone try and forget him.
I want to think about it and then just get it out in one go, actually all i want is him.......oh god.

I am going to go lay on the sofa, watch come shitty telly and have a little smoke..........i might not be doing the sex and the rock and roll at the moment but hey, have dope will smoke!
I am bad, very very bad, i know............i won't even try to excuse it.